Alt. Text: A couple’s intertwined pinkies with the woman’s hand wearing an engagement ring.
“It takes two to tango” — this famous statement can never go out of context especially when it comes to love, relationships and marriage. Why? Because marriage needs both people to practice and work together to allow it to last and make it healthy. However, before establishing this, you need to make sure that you also have to establish good rapport within yourself before you start to commit. You need to let go of those things you keep within yourself—things that may threaten or ruin your marriage. This means that there are some baggages you need to lose before you get married and here are some of them:
In marriage, it doesn’t matter who is right or wrong. You need to know that it matters on who gives weight on the opinion of the other person. Carrying this baggage as you enter the married life can be a disaster. Not considering your partner’s opinion would mean that you are belittling your partner or that you do not respect them at all. It could also mean that you are not open to changes within the relationship when, in fact, it is essential for both of you to grow. For instance, when you get to marry a foreign bride, close-mindedness must be tossed outside the window as cultural differences and behavioral variations are highly-anticipated in such union. Hence, if you plan on tying the knot soon, it is empirical that you leave this baggage prior to your flight.
When you get to tie the knot with an Asian woman for instance, you will soon realize that your future family is given much priority and value. Marriage means great sacrifices for the sake of your family and you will not be able to do this if you always think of yourself first than that of the welfare of your spouse and children; thus, as early as now, you must get this out of your baggage before boarding the plane of marriage.
Egocentrism is somehow similar, yet contextually different from selfishness. If selfishness means thinking of yourself first regardless of the pressing needs of others, egocentrism is the inability to see other’s perspectives than that of one’s self. Here, you become too self-focused that you cannot view yourself as part of other people’s world; instead, you tend to view people as part of your world. This is a big no for most ladies most especially for Latin women who strongly uphold open communication bonds with their partners. This baggage is very detrimental for your marriage if not left out since this means that you cannot see your partner’s needs—that can be too exhausting and painful for your spouse.
Rather than being possessive who tries to control or dominate your spouse, be someone who is territorial. Being territorial means trying to keep and protect your loved ones. This allows your partner to grow in her own space and be better along with the course of your relationship. As you see, being possessive can make your partner feel choked and imprisoned. Due to this, they strive more of freedom and try to get out from your grasp which may result to infidelity.
- Personal Desires
If you are planning to tie the knot, you must also be ready to give up on your own personal desires because you do not only work hard for yourself but for your partner as well. There is no more “yours” or “mine” because there only exists “us” when it comes to goals. Why? Because the achievement of the other is also your achievement. Establishing this kind of mindset would require you to have common goals in the relationship. Imagine yourself years from now and both of you should work hard on realizing that.
- Believing that sexual intercourse will always be fantastic.
Sex is definitely one of the things that couples look forward to upon tying the knot. Most imagine it to be enjoyable and fantastic, but let us face it: every relationship gets boring and that includes sex. Removing this mindset, there will be less disappointment on how things would turn out to be on this aspect. However, it is always up to the couple how they can warm and spice things up in their relationship to make it more exciting than it was in the first time.
What couples need to remember is that marriage is not just like tango that when you get tired, you just stop, or, like gum that when it loses its flavor and turns plain, you just spit it out. Marriage is a sacred union between a man and a woman; it is a lifetime commitment where certain sacrifices are made and where certain things are reconsidered in order to keep the relationship going. Now, if you are trying to get on board to a lifetime flight of marriage carrying the baggages mentioned above, your plane will crash and it will not just hurt you and your partner individually; it will also hurt the people around you and may ruin the relationship you’re keeping.